The Day My Son Was in The Holocaust

Have you ever seen that look in your child’s eyes?

Sheer terror.

They come running to you as their savior.

Most likely, it was from something silly—something that posed no serious threat.

But you got a glimpse into the desperation of a young, naive soul.

When I imagine that look on my son’s face, my heart shutters. My breath shortens. My stomach tightens.

Why?

Because I never want my son to experience utter terror like that.

Last year, when I visited the Holocaust Museum in Washington, D.C., I had a frightening moment. As I meditated on frame after frame, video after video, statistic after statstic, artifact after artifact, I came across one picture in particular.

It was a picture of my son lying face down in the street. He had the same skin. He was the same size. And he even had the same hair. It was my son. He was dead.

My stomach flipped and I could no longer control myself. I broke down.

What hit me the hardest wasn’t that he was dead, but imagining how he died. Imagining the look on his face as he faced or ran from his assailant. Terror. Sheer terror.

I imagined that look in my son’s eyes in the eyes of that boy.

I’m not afraid of my son dying. I’m afraid of my son dying in sheer terror. I’m afraid of that look on his face as he takes his last breath. I’m afraid that he will suffer in despair.

And what hope do I have?

What hope do I have when I cannot console him? What hope do I have when holding him just doesn’t take away the pain?

What hope do I have?

2 Things (Ps. 62.11-12):

1. God is stronger than I am.
2. God loves him more than I do.

While the deep, theological truths are vitally important for constructing our view of God and how to properly represent and worship Him, often it is the simple things that gets us through the hardest times.

You, O God, are strong. You, O God, are loving.

How comforting it is to have a Savior who loves us with a love that is beyond our finite understanding.

I sometimes get this feeling that God has used up all of his strength or that God has come to the end of his love.

But then I call to mind with Jeremiah,

The steadfast love of the LORD never ceases;
His mercies never come to an end;
They are new every morning;
Great is your faithfulness.
“The LORD is my portion,” says my soul,
“therefore I will hope in him.

Lamentations 3.22-24

Josh Josh (19 Posts)

Josh has been married to his lovely wife, Julie, since June 2006. They have 3 children: Deacon, Noelle, and Daisy. He received his undergraduate degree from Houston Baptist University in 2007. He has done graduate work at the Southern Baptist Theological Seminary and at HBU. He has been serving as Director of Operations at Classical School of Wichita (CSWSaints.com) since August 2014. He is interested in classical education, biblical worldview, and Christian theology.


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